(Source: alistair-kilpy)
Anonymous asked: tell me a story
Once upon a time, there was a little unicorn named Henri (pronounced with a nasally, French accent). He would wake up at promptly 7:33am everyday to frolic through the meadows and chase the butterflies and skewer gnomes with his mighty, ferocious horn of wrath. One day, when Henri was in the middle of frolicking, he came across a bulldozer. Off the the bulldozer, a large, overweight, possibly Mexican man plopped to the ground; crushing a helpless daffodil under his giant foot. He pulled a large rifle from behind his rolls of fat and shot Henri swiftly between the eyes. The poacher won and Henri was no more. The end.
If I had a penny for
all of the facebook friends I have who I hate, I’d have 302 pennies.
(that’s all of them)
(I hate life)
(Source: frances123)
This is especially funny because the last comment is from his sister. Hooray for being a pompous asshole :D
(Source: ohyeahadorablepuppies)
Things I like
-
i’m going to gay pride next week
i can’t wait to release my inner faggot
-
APPLY to be my gay bff
- are you gay
- do you like ice cream?
- do you listen to blondie?
- do you...
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Information
Dear world.
My name is Sam.
I'm the biggest bitch you'll ever meet.
I love to speak of my hatred.
I'm 19 years too old.
My religion is somewhere around Nihilistic.
I love kittens.
I don't know who I am or what I want.
I love snazzy outfits.
I post about the things I wish I had, places I wish I was, and people I wish I knew.
I hope you all die.
The End?
My name is Sam.
I'm the biggest bitch you'll ever meet.
I love to speak of my hatred.
I'm 19 years too old.
My religion is somewhere around Nihilistic.
I love kittens.
I don't know who I am or what I want.
I love snazzy outfits.
I post about the things I wish I had, places I wish I was, and people I wish I knew.
I hope you all die.
The End?
